Let's Play "Today I"!

This game is extremely simple, but it’s not simplistic: It’s based on decades of research about human motivation, behavior change, social connection, executive function, and more.

Forget about SMART goals: Whereas SMART goals use the psychological equivalent of brute force to effect change, Today-I is all about the journey: The change comes about gently. You are living in a world of carrots for a change: There are no sticks in Today-I.

Once you get going, it takes about 10 seconds a day.

GAME PLAY:

ONE: Find a partner to play with. Family, friend, classmate, colleague, or someone in the same support group.

TWO: Set a broad goal or intention. Your Today-I goal should be something broad enough that you can move toward in a variety of big or small steps each day. Having plenty of choices and freedom are key. Here are some examples:

Broad Goal: Get healthier.
(eat an apple, prepare a healthy meal, walk around the block, take a long bike ride)

Broad Goal: Improve mental health
(notice a difficult feeling, walk in the woods, look at a therapist's website, join a support group)

Broad Goal: Build community
(smile at a stranger, talk to a neighbor, take a meal to someone who's sick, go to a community meeting)

Broad Goal: De-clutter the home
(call a daughter for moral support, look into the closet you've been avoiding, recycle six papers)


THREE: At the end of each day, text your partner one thing (big or small, tiny or huge) that you have done in the service of your goal. You *must* text something, but it doesn't have to big. If you get to the end of the day with nothing to report, do a sit-up. There's always something you can do.


Sept 1, 2025, 10:03pm

<<Today I went on a bike ride.>>

<<Cool. Today I found my missing gym shoe. Back of the closet haha. Where did you ride?>>

<<Rode around Lake Merced. It was beautiful.>>



Sept 2, 2025, 10:14pm

<<Today I walked once around the block.>>

<<Nice. How did the ancient shoes hold up?>>

<<Ok I guess. But I should probably get new ones. What did you do today?>>

<<I usually get a burger at lunch, but I got a salad instead.>>

<<Pew pew>>



There are only two rules, but they are important:

RULE #1: You can only post one thing each day.

RULE #2: You cannot gripe about your failures: There may be a strong temptation to fall into pouring out your own failures in order to commiserate and bolster each other. But if you do that, you will be missing out on some of the power of the game.

In future blogs, I intend to write more about:

-> Behavior change
-> Specific challenges presented by depression and other conditions
->What different theoretical frameworks (psychodynamics, DBT, solutions-focused, and others) have to say about how people change and grow.

Until then, please enjoy the game and let me know what happens. I'm particularly curious to know:

Do you enjoy it?
What goal/intention do you pick?
How regularly do you make the daily post?
Do you notice changes in your thoughts, feelings, or behaviors?
How was it to have a partner?
Do you sustain the game? How long does it last and what might make it stickier?

Juliette